For the first few years of my life, I had a Pekingese dog named 小咪, or “smiling baby” in English. In Kindergarten, I excitedly told the class about her.
“She is huge,” I gestured with wide-open arms, “and even bigger than that!”
My classmates nodded in unison. Everyone’s pets were gigantic too.
Looking back, it was evident that our pets were not enormous; we were just little.
If our parents harmed us, we were terrified. It is as if a giant is lashing out, and we can not defend ourselves or go anywhere. We might have thought that we were going to die.
The trauma could leave such a scar that when we get triggered as adults, we snap back to feeling like a child, forgetting who we are.
Knowing this, isn’t there all the more reason to be compassionate towards ourselves? This scarred child is still inside of us, and they need our love and protection.
If you are a parent, please remember what it was like to be little, and extend to your children the care you needed then.
“The biggest mistake parents make is forgetting what it's like to be a child.” ― Yumay Chang
There is nothing more life-enhancing to your child than being loved and accepted for who they are, flaws, foibles, and all.
And who better to give it to them than the giant they love?
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My name is Yumay Chang, and I run Life Is Love School, a global support group for childhood trauma survivors. I had a challenging childhood, and I know what it’s like to feel not good enough and not lovable. I learned through over two decades of research and plenty of trial and error how to heal so I can live a life of joy, love, and purpose. Now I help women that are successful at work but are unfulfilled in their personal lives do the same so they can also shine their brightest.
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